Now that this extras bill from B. has blown it all open, particularly Boyer w/ work quality. Lu is now moving to consolidate and move us to Sherman. I cannot keep up with the whirlwind, I'm emotionally stirred by the storm in which I am allowing her to take the helm. Even tho I can deal with troubled equipment, dealing with troubled people gets me in rocky mentality. I used to be rocky with buggy/broke stuff or school problems that I eventually got a grip. Hopefully, eventulally I'll get a grip here. But for now, having someone so close being so strong is unsettling, but bite my lip and ride on her shoulders. Like being high up on those shoulders, it is scary cuz it's so high, so vulnerable, yet in reality you're on top of strength and can see further than others.

Change is very tough to embrace for me. But no where to rest, nowhere to hide 'cuz it's all inside. Must adapt.