Got the damn car
A little bit of me died with the purchase of this car.
1) Now it's the inconvenience of it:
a) being in the driveway and having to backup because it's blocking the way
b) going through the trouble of cleaning up the garage
c) parking in odd places to avoid scratches
d) worrying about dropping the key fob (keep the $250 insurance on 2/year?)
e) can't park conveniently at Mt. Snow and worry with the car valet
f) parking in the city
...where the hell can you go without the worry of the thing. I'd prefer arriving in any old car and parking wherever and not worries.
The exorbitant price just so Lu is not trapped at home during the, say, few times a year I leave with the car. $45 fucking thousand dollars to drive 15 min to get $50 worth of groceries? Ok we spent about 15k$ more than reasonable and even $30k is too much for that limited usage. 15K$ for 2k$ more in reliability makes no sense. It's pure status and in our world only my parents appreciate that shit now that Lil is gone. And even if I'm surrounded by people who are impressed or feel I'm in on the 'made it' crowd, I want out. I just do not care for it. It's like she has an addiction, where the actions are not reasonable, she has to have that car because of the damn color? The color? She wouldn't have gotten it if it didn't have the Communist bright red color of her youth?
I do feel like a victim because I compromised my principles of getting the most bang for the $. As Lisa said, I'll have to make all new friends, including myself. This feeling was last had with Becky. Lu said I wasted 100k$, she works hard for her $, this is an extension of her always having the good life---even in China. Victim because we are not getting $45k worth of value, though I don't know how to determine value. We sort of got a good deal but actually they just went down in price from $44 to $42 from MSRP of $47. Maybe 10%, not so great when buying a house. But the other 2 dealers wouldn't do it. The 09 with 14k miles was $35 I guess. Subaru looks so good now. Lu does not open up to deliberation. She takes my input and I'm not allowed to know what she does with it, only when she's arrived at a new position and then she won't budge as if she would loose something---a part of her ---if she did. She did ask me whether it's ok to go for it last Sat when we sat with Ben in his office. I didn't say no. Is this same as me stepping up and going to China when she said I didn't have to? Like the camera, it's something she does enjoy and connect to. Like those Patagonia jackets and the Mephisto shoes, she will go over board, if one is good, several are better. She's exacting in all she does, so she wants objects on par with her sense of excellence. I'm more relaxed or as she says, sloppy, B+. Fine.
And I'm not that excited about the style or looks. The color is nice. I think it's too much of a big monster and the inside ain't that big to carry the tennis baskets. I'm sick of driving from inside a railroad box car while sitting on a cushy captain's chair peering down on people in their cozy nimble machines---an SUV since the mid-90's is played out already. If I had a 500 series BMW, or the Z-Nissan, or even the Prius or the Civic or even the gadget-filled Lexus IS I'd be more excited. I'd rather have all the gimmicks available like when you cross lanes, or blind-side warning, auto-parking, etc. I do like the gimmicks it has like the Bluetooth, weather, traffic, moving headlights, DVD in screen, oh maybe they are nice. For that $, I'd want to be excited. Maybe I'm jaded 'cuz I'm older or I've seen cars on the road so much that it doesn't matter. But I did love the RX-7 though I didn't take care of it. Maybe the Pathfinder oil scare is another example of not taking care.
I see myself as a guy who is basically poor (Like Pam's brother or Hus Nu) and doesn't spend money except on experiences: nice trips, food, and maybe shows. I live humbly, scraping like the tenant Juan.
I feel we have an intruder in our lives---some rich guy who is high maintenance and demanding our attention. Though our house looks impressive, it's rough on the edges brings me back to earth. Not fixing them is fine to me.
Her drive for this car is so foreign to me, to have the best. Sure we took it from our checking but that took awhile to accumulate---I don't know how long, though I should. It makes a mockery of our savings efforts and those of all we know. She's been nice to thank me for the car. I expect all kinds of life betterment, but we are still the same, just getting into and out of some fanciness. Only to others it may appear something fun. But to self, I dunno. Just sitting in is fun only to play with the gadgets. The interior seems classy except for the plastic doors covers on the inside. but it looks ok. The 2010 is classier by alot over the previous model years.
My sense of the worth of money is confused now, once again. I preferred it when the confusion occurred due to large infusions ala when I was winning big in the market. If only I had sense to splurge some of that or listen to Dad and sell it. It was pure gambling excitement. I regret not going on trips and spending $ to meet people. I just haven't arrived at being magnaminous though I have glimmers with the Democratic Town thing or treating Lisa with the gift basket or other things when down there. I really have to think more magnamaously, generously, how to uplift others. It feels so good. This car thing for Lu hardly does it. She loves the color, that's the main thing. It's nice to see her there purring with the soft classical music. It's too quiet a life in there (seeing her sitting in the car at the A&P lot). I felt no compulsion to join in. I'm comfortable in what I'm used to, the slummy world of the Pathfinder, yet it was so nice compared to the 95 Pathfinder and maybe on par with the 2000 Lexus. Funny how it is all relative. I cannot imagine that slummy feeling arriving with this car, but in 10 years it'll prob. happen. Of course it would be fun driving another couple around in it. You all feel so special as it compliments us. Royalty.
That parking lot at Tengda was just full of Bimmers and Lexus and other top of the line cars. It was shocking. I certainly looked like I didn't belong (maybe I do with the Patagonia or maybe I do because I'm all socially insecure like most of them) though my car was swimming easily in their midst, unlike the lot at the A&P or Big Y.
I wish I understood Ian P's view of $. He's got lots of it, expects alot for it, and is always managing and understanding its effectiveness. Since he's so competitive, maybe the $ game is his self expressions. Does it give me self-definition? Why did they go to Red Lobster? For the deal? Rich people going to Marshall's? Maybe people are not consistent.
1) Now it's the inconvenience of it:
a) being in the driveway and having to backup because it's blocking the way
b) going through the trouble of cleaning up the garage
c) parking in odd places to avoid scratches
d) worrying about dropping the key fob (keep the $250 insurance on 2/year?)
e) can't park conveniently at Mt. Snow and worry with the car valet
f) parking in the city
...where the hell can you go without the worry of the thing. I'd prefer arriving in any old car and parking wherever and not worries.
The exorbitant price just so Lu is not trapped at home during the, say, few times a year I leave with the car. $45 fucking thousand dollars to drive 15 min to get $50 worth of groceries? Ok we spent about 15k$ more than reasonable and even $30k is too much for that limited usage. 15K$ for 2k$ more in reliability makes no sense. It's pure status and in our world only my parents appreciate that shit now that Lil is gone. And even if I'm surrounded by people who are impressed or feel I'm in on the 'made it' crowd, I want out. I just do not care for it. It's like she has an addiction, where the actions are not reasonable, she has to have that car because of the damn color? The color? She wouldn't have gotten it if it didn't have the Communist bright red color of her youth?
I do feel like a victim because I compromised my principles of getting the most bang for the $. As Lisa said, I'll have to make all new friends, including myself. This feeling was last had with Becky. Lu said I wasted 100k$, she works hard for her $, this is an extension of her always having the good life---even in China. Victim because we are not getting $45k worth of value, though I don't know how to determine value. We sort of got a good deal but actually they just went down in price from $44 to $42 from MSRP of $47. Maybe 10%, not so great when buying a house. But the other 2 dealers wouldn't do it. The 09 with 14k miles was $35 I guess. Subaru looks so good now. Lu does not open up to deliberation. She takes my input and I'm not allowed to know what she does with it, only when she's arrived at a new position and then she won't budge as if she would loose something---a part of her ---if she did. She did ask me whether it's ok to go for it last Sat when we sat with Ben in his office. I didn't say no. Is this same as me stepping up and going to China when she said I didn't have to? Like the camera, it's something she does enjoy and connect to. Like those Patagonia jackets and the Mephisto shoes, she will go over board, if one is good, several are better. She's exacting in all she does, so she wants objects on par with her sense of excellence. I'm more relaxed or as she says, sloppy, B+. Fine.
And I'm not that excited about the style or looks. The color is nice. I think it's too much of a big monster and the inside ain't that big to carry the tennis baskets. I'm sick of driving from inside a railroad box car while sitting on a cushy captain's chair peering down on people in their cozy nimble machines---an SUV since the mid-90's is played out already. If I had a 500 series BMW, or the Z-Nissan, or even the Prius or the Civic or even the gadget-filled Lexus IS I'd be more excited. I'd rather have all the gimmicks available like when you cross lanes, or blind-side warning, auto-parking, etc. I do like the gimmicks it has like the Bluetooth, weather, traffic, moving headlights, DVD in screen, oh maybe they are nice. For that $, I'd want to be excited. Maybe I'm jaded 'cuz I'm older or I've seen cars on the road so much that it doesn't matter. But I did love the RX-7 though I didn't take care of it. Maybe the Pathfinder oil scare is another example of not taking care.
I see myself as a guy who is basically poor (Like Pam's brother or Hus Nu) and doesn't spend money except on experiences: nice trips, food, and maybe shows. I live humbly, scraping like the tenant Juan.
I feel we have an intruder in our lives---some rich guy who is high maintenance and demanding our attention. Though our house looks impressive, it's rough on the edges brings me back to earth. Not fixing them is fine to me.
Her drive for this car is so foreign to me, to have the best. Sure we took it from our checking but that took awhile to accumulate---I don't know how long, though I should. It makes a mockery of our savings efforts and those of all we know. She's been nice to thank me for the car. I expect all kinds of life betterment, but we are still the same, just getting into and out of some fanciness. Only to others it may appear something fun. But to self, I dunno. Just sitting in is fun only to play with the gadgets. The interior seems classy except for the plastic doors covers on the inside. but it looks ok. The 2010 is classier by alot over the previous model years.
My sense of the worth of money is confused now, once again. I preferred it when the confusion occurred due to large infusions ala when I was winning big in the market. If only I had sense to splurge some of that or listen to Dad and sell it. It was pure gambling excitement. I regret not going on trips and spending $ to meet people. I just haven't arrived at being magnaminous though I have glimmers with the Democratic Town thing or treating Lisa with the gift basket or other things when down there. I really have to think more magnamaously, generously, how to uplift others. It feels so good. This car thing for Lu hardly does it. She loves the color, that's the main thing. It's nice to see her there purring with the soft classical music. It's too quiet a life in there (seeing her sitting in the car at the A&P lot). I felt no compulsion to join in. I'm comfortable in what I'm used to, the slummy world of the Pathfinder, yet it was so nice compared to the 95 Pathfinder and maybe on par with the 2000 Lexus. Funny how it is all relative. I cannot imagine that slummy feeling arriving with this car, but in 10 years it'll prob. happen. Of course it would be fun driving another couple around in it. You all feel so special as it compliments us. Royalty.
That parking lot at Tengda was just full of Bimmers and Lexus and other top of the line cars. It was shocking. I certainly looked like I didn't belong (maybe I do with the Patagonia or maybe I do because I'm all socially insecure like most of them) though my car was swimming easily in their midst, unlike the lot at the A&P or Big Y.
I wish I understood Ian P's view of $. He's got lots of it, expects alot for it, and is always managing and understanding its effectiveness. Since he's so competitive, maybe the $ game is his self expressions. Does it give me self-definition? Why did they go to Red Lobster? For the deal? Rich people going to Marshall's? Maybe people are not consistent.
posted by Jeff G. @ 4:01 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home